I suffer from depression. I am not crazy or loopy. I do not have a screw loose or am a few sandwiches short of a picnic. I am a late 30s male, I have two beautiful children who love me dearly, I am a Christian who attends church sporadically (because of my job), I have a good job, get on with most of my colleagues, I have great friends, I try to be active but could do more. In fact I am like most people in society. The only thing different to many is that last year I was diagnosed with depression, and this year I decided with consultation with my GP and a psychologist I was seeing, to use medication to help me with my depression.
I don't want to go into the whys and hows, the ins and outs of my depression because for me that is personal and I am not ready to share those in such a public forum. I have been on my medication for eight months and otherwise live a normal life. I have had to put some things in place to help me combat the overwhelming feelings of hopelessness, fear and panic that manifest with my depression. I have two guys who I have shared a lot with. They help form my anchor that stops me from being bashed and battered by the depression storm. As well as those two guys I have a slightly wider group of people I can reach out to for support and prayer when I need it. I love tramping so aim to keep fit by walking or getting into the bush. I have great friends who enjoy that too and with whom I go out on tramps when I can. I have seen, and continue to see a counselor who is helping me through some past issues. All of these things help me cope with my depression and stop me from listening too much to the negative self talk.
Today the Annual Provisional Suicide Statistics were released showing more people died at their own hands last year than any year since 2007, the year records started. These statistics show that for a growing number of people New Zealand is not the heavenly paradise we like to think and portray it as. For many life is very very hard and for some they feel the only way out of that dark foreboding place is to end their life. It is sad, tragic and as the Chief Coroner was quoted as saying, "appalling". However we all can play a part in improving this, which is why this week seems the most important for the release of these stats.
That is because this week is Mental Health Awareness Week. We can think about and mourn the people who have died from suicide as well as those who have been left behind. But more than that we can talk about depression, suicide and how we as a society can combat these two blights on our country. You see, I believe that we have done each other a disservice by not talking about mental health and depression in particular. There is a stigma attached to mental illness and depression that means people fear talking about it which can isolate them and make them listen to that negative self talk too much, which can lead to suicide. We need to remove that stigma which is why I shared that I have depression. Removing that stigma means that I applaud the efforts of people like John Kirwan whose efforts have helped break down the walls of that stigma. Much has been done already, but much more is yet to be done.
One good and healthy thing to do is to make sure you have someone you trust implicitly to talk to. It can be a friend, a family member, a colleague, a teacher, a counsellor, a psychologist, a psychiatrist, a pastor/priest/chaplain, whoever. If you feel you don't have a person to talk to, have some courage to try and open yourself up to someone. Having people who believe in you and who speak positive messages into your life is key to battling the negative self talk that is associated with depression. Another equally important thing is to stay healthy - go for a walk, run, ride, swim. Anything that helps you stay active. Add to this healthy eating and get good sleep. None of this is rocket science so anyone can do it. Even if you do one positive thing a day helps. When I had a bout of depression 8 years ago I didn't want to get out of bed. This last year I felt the same feeling when I was on summer holiday with my family. The difference between last time and this time was I knew what was happening and I had the tools in place. I was also working through the depression journal on the Depression NZ website (http://www.depression.org.nz/ and the journal direct link is https://myjournal.depression.org.nz). I cannot recommend the journal enough. The website is good as well.
As well as making sure that we are doing mentally ok ourselves it is important to make sure those around us are doing ok as well. There is a bible verse that states "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another" (Psalm 27:17). There is a fundamental truth to that. We are social creatures and function best when we can have some interaction with others. It is important to keep in touch with those in our circle of connections, touching base and making sure they are ok. This seems to be becoming more important in this present society where the individual is king. Reconnecting with others allows us to say that they matter to us and we value them as a person. It also allows us to say to them that what they are or might be going through and how it affects them is of interest to us.
So contact with people you are close to. Let them know they are important to you. Share what is going on in your life, including the struggles and ask about their lives. If we all did that then depression will stop having the stigma it does and our national suicide rate will drop. We would be a better society for it and Godzone would become a little more heavenly for everyone.
(As well as the depression website, check out the Mental Health Foundation website for information. Here is a link to a page they have about suicide if you are worried about someone you know. There are a list of helplines on the page too. http://www.mentalhealth.org.nz/get-help/a-z/resource/48/suicide-worried-about-someone )
